Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Im part way to drunk.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
