I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
