is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
