you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
