Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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