What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize