You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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