porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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