whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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