It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
