I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
