I can text with my tongue
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
