i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
