wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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