This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
