covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
