something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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