If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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