oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His hands were made for my vagina.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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