I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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