I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
