She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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