I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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