come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize