Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't turn off my feet"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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