That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
