Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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