i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
