my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The struggles of a small town man whore
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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