farters have to be the big spoon...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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