what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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