I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am available for nakedness
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
