Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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