ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
