just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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