i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
and she was petting her beer can
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
