i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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