Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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