guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize