She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
