You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
