what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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