My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
