woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
