I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
