So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I checked into jail on foursquare
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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