he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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