Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize