At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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