So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
