I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
