if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
