then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
