I'm lost and stupid without you.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
