you turned your livingroom into a bong?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
